


Blood, Sweat & Promises

by rosalieirenen



Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: After Second Season, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Randall Carpio, Demisexual Character, Demisexual Main Character, English is not my primary language, Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired by Fanfiction, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon, Responsible Hamish Duke, Short, Werewolves, second season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25400614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalieirenen/pseuds/rosalieirenen
Summary: Ice cubes clacked and Hamish realised his glass was already empty. He sighed when the front door opened and closed with a loud crack.He didn’t have to ask, already knowing who it was. The smell of blood and sweat reached his nostrils the moment Randall entered the house.“Take a shower” he murmured, more to himself. The calm evening was over. He was distracted already.“In a minute” Randall answered. “I need a drink. Now.”aka. Randall spent too much time in the Hemmings' lab for anyone to stay sane. Inspired by another fic, yes.
Relationships: Randall Carpio/Hamish Duke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	Blood, Sweat & Promises

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lazy Moment](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22280623) by [KnightofStChristopher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightofStChristopher/pseuds/KnightofStChristopher). 



###  **1.**

Hamish loved those cozy, quiet evenings when kids were out somewhere and he had finally some time to himself. There was a bottle of bourbon prepared on the counter. He was sitting on a couch, a pillow behind his back and a blanket on his laps. A book about healing potions in one hand and tumbler in the other.

He was fully relaxed, absorbing knowledge like a sponge, phantom tingling of a long gone wound in his belly constantly reminding him that he should. He had so much to catch up. 

Hamish always was the most responsible and protective one in any group of friends so even if Tundra wasn’t the first choice for alpha, he became one naturally. People came and went and he stayed, taking care of youngsters. And for so many years he didn’t think of reading a thing from their collection, assuming it had to be about bad magic and as it should not be touched. Now was the time to fix this mistake.

Ice cubes clacked and Hamish realised his glass was already empty. He sighed when the front door opened and closed with a loud crack.

He didn’t have to ask, already knowing who it was. The smell of blood and sweat reached his nostrils the moment Randall entered the house.

“Take a shower” he murmured, more to himself. The calm evening was over. He was distracted already.

“In a minute” Randall answered. “I need a drink. Now.”

Hamish momentarily looked at him, alarmed. “What happened?”

Randall shook his head. “A girl. Young. Possessed. Lilith and Jack tried to exorcism her but they didn't make it in time. Digging a grave for her victim now.” He poured bourbon to a glass, added some cola and lemon juice and grabbed it along with the whole bottle.

Hamish watched him, refilling his tumbler for him, taking a sip of his own drink and laying down on the couch next to him.

"Sometimes even I doubt those methods. I wish we could know more, save more, instead of _that_."

"We will, Randall" Hamish said in a gentle tone, suddenly feeling so much sadness. "We will," he repeated.

"Really think so?" Randall's question was suppressed with a yawn. He was using Hamish's presence as a lullaby again.

"Yes, I do think so. I promise." Hamish stifled the urge to comfort Randall. He let the boy cuddle next to him, inhaling the scent of blood, sweat and bourbon, letting him to absorb his own scent. Maybe this way he could help him. Incompetence and helplessness weighed him down with double force.

* * *

“Tell me, Hamish. What are you reading so passionately?”

He looked at Lilith questioningly. “Are you alright? Randall told me what happened.”

Lilith shrugged and hid behind the counter, looking for some liqueur. “ _I_ am alright. But _Jack_ is definitely not. He went to the Temple. Said he wants to look for some useful books.”

Hamish nodded. They all struggled with lack of knowledge. It haunted them for past few days and it didn’t seem to change in the nearest future.

Lilith bottomed her drink in a second. She kneeled beside the couch, carded her fingers through Randall’s hair and sighed. Randal shifted in his sleep, looking for more comfortable position.

“It seems like we’re sinking deep in some black hole. I don’t see light anymore.”

Hamish shivered. It was a rather depressing vision of their current situation. “Could you?” He handed her an empty glass.

“Refill?”

“No.”

She left tumbler on the counter and headed for stairs. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Healing potions”

“Good” Lilith replied before disappearing in the darkness of a hall.

Hamish tried to read but his mind constantly drifted to what Lilith said, and Randall, and his scent. So intense, so close. Randall was sleeping, his back pressed to Hamish’s side. Hamish couldn’t tear his eyes from him. It calmed him. The presence of his Knights calmed him.

* * *

He was in a class, explaining differences between basic theories about the existence of God to the freshmen, mentally rolling eyes at their lack of dedication. It wasn't a subject of main interest for this class so he was forgiving, or at least tried to.

He just finished last sentence of the topic for the next essay, when a loud ringing caused grimace on his face.

"Everything okay, Mr. Duke?" asked a blonde sitting close to the blackboard. Hamish didn’t even recall her name. He ignored her.

"You're dismissed" he managed to say to them, before looking outside the window, wondering what caused the sound.

_Temple. Nothing to worry. I am here._

Jack sent the message a minute later. Hamish doubted the _nothing to worry_ part. He closed the door when last student left the class and headed toward the Temple. It was empty already, except of two acolytes, cleaning the blood splashed on the floor, walls and the ceiling. The smell lit his eyes for a moment but he kept the pace until he stood in front of the door of Vera’s office.

“Can you tell me, what was that?” He asked calmly. Vera Stone was sitting behind her desk, staring indifferently at the pile of papers. “You wanted us to hunt bad magic performers, yet you perform it yourself. Here. Should we hunt _you_?

“Watch your tongue. What is happening in the Temple is nothing of your concern. Especially, when _I_ ’m involved.”

“Explanation” Hamish demanded. “You owe me at least an explanation, Grant Magus.”

“Don’t owe you anything. Now.” She waved her hand. “I don’t have time for this. Ask Mr. Morton about what happened, if you must.”

He left. There was nothing he could say to convince her to trust them. To trust him. If only she could see him a leader he was. They could be useful in so many ways. 

But no. She wanted them being faithful as dogs, ready for each call. She expected them being under control anytime, anywhere, unconditionally. He wasn't ready for this, never will be.

Hamish admired Vera. He believed in her. Her strength, her tactics, her knowledge. But he also saw her flaws and the biggest one of them, lack of trust, was sometimes driving him crazy.

"Jack, any plans for this evening?"

“First, I quote, mix your sweat with that blood, Mr. Morton, it’s supposed to be clean in an hour. Choose two Acolytes” Jack mimicked Vera, adding an impressive eyeroll, but then he looked at Hamish, guilty. "And I asked Alyssa out for a dinner. Something important? I can cancel-" He sounded like he would rather not.

"No. Just wanted to know."

"Hamish, listen. That spell before-- It was an accident."

"Okay. I understand."

Jack tried to say something else but Hamish was already on his way out. It wasn't the place for such conversations. They were supposed to be disbanded. He wasn't a leader anymore. Not officially, in front of the members of the Order. But truth was, he slowly started to feel less like one, lately.

He went back to the den, hoping for some time alone but instead, he found Lilith and Randall, playing beer pong.

"Hey, Hamish! Didn't know you'll be here at this hour." Randall stopped playing, and his face lightened, making the dark circles under his eyes less visible. 

"What are you fighting for?" Hamish asked.

"He's trying to make me babysitting him" answered Lilith.

Randall made few steps backwards, embarrassed. "I wouldn't say it this way."

"Come on, kid. We need to talk anyway." Hamish grabbed his arm, tagging Randall with him to the living room. "What's going on?" He asked, when Lilith disappeared upstairs, happy she had a free evening."

"Nothing. I just asked Lilith if she wants to chill on the sofa. I don’t know when this discussion evolved into what you saw." Randall laughed but it wasn't convincing and he knew that too.

"You do know that you look like you didn't get to sleep for at least a week?"

Randall shook his head in a no.

"And I did noticed you try to sleep with others for some mysterious reasons."

Randall looked like a child, ashamed, guilty of stealing a cookie from the jar on the counter.

"So" Hamish continued. "Will you tell me what's going on?"

He waited long for an answer but Hamish was a patient man. He reached out to Randall's arm and squeezed it in a friendly way, encouraging him. Randall looked everywhere, except into Hamish’s eyes.

"I have nightmares." He said finally, causing Hamish to release breath he never realised was holding. "I dream of that lab room every night. Those people, there are hundreds of them. "

Hamish wondered why he didn't tell anyone. Why he kept it from them for so long and didn't share his fears. Why he didn't share with _him_.

"They are innocent people. Students. But that's not the worst. I can fight some random people. But- it started-- you guys start-- to show up. Furious. Trying to kill me. So I have to kill you. Sometimes I just can't. And die. From your hands. Sometimes I can and do kill you. And it's even worse, coz I can't live with the thought."

Hamish could have tried million times to imagine but he would never know how Randall felt at the moment. Hearing about it though, he felt something cracked inside his soul, realising Randall lived those scenarios every night. All by himself.

"It's better when I can feel you next to me. At least it's not you who show up through the doors."

Hamish still didn't know what to say. Instead, he grabbed Randall's hand and stood up.

"Come with me" he whispered. His clenched throat couldn’t manage anything more than that. They went upstairs, he pushed him to the bed and laid down next to him. "Don't freak out" he said finally. "No more sleeping on a couch. You need a good rest. Come on."

Randall was reluctant at first but what other choice did he have? He let Hamish to spoon him, he let him to put a hand on his belly and the tension in his whole body decreased until evaporated completely. Hamish listened to his heart beating getting slower. Randall was exhausted from so many insomniac nights that he fell asleep in a second. Hamish waited several more minutes, just to be sure and buried his face into Randall's hair. He inhaled his scent and it made him calm as well. He fell asleep shortly after.

When Hamish woke up Randall was already gone. The clock on his phone said it's half past seven, what meant he had another two hours until first lesson this day. He felt refreshed and full of energy and in a surprisingly good mood. Everything was going smooth until he saw Randall on the campus and younger boy was clearly pretending not to see him.

Hamish understood him but it hurt anyway.

In the evening though he knocked to Hamish’s bedroom and asked if he can spend one more night there.

"You can come everyday, if you want" Hamish declared without hesitation. He would say that to anyone from the pack. It's not that he brought girls home. He was still mourning after Cassie.

"Yeah… Thanks?"

Randall faked the nonchalance with which he came into his bed and Hamish pretended not to see Randall sniffing his pillow. In the end they simply fell asleep. Randall woke up around midnight but Hamish calmed him down with some whispered words and he was back in his dreamless sleep.

Randall looked much, much better after two nights with Hamish so the next one he decided to spent alone. The same went for coming few ones and shortly after he looked like a zombie again. Hamish knew it was not the best idea but he said nothing, leaving that decision to Randall.

* * *

"Man, you can't even hold one boy in place? Which way he's gone?" Jack was screaming at Randall for the third time this day and he was much lenient with it than Lilith was. "Come on, we need to catch him."

Hamish focused his all senses on the hunted man. Tundra wanted to take control. "Not yet" he murmured. "Boys, he headed south."

"To the town." They were looking at each other. Hopefully at this hour it wasn't busy. "Come on."

They were fast, but not enough. The man they were chasing found another victim. Fragments of a young woman's body was scattered on the whole street. It was his second victim and the ninth one since those mad men started to show up.

Randall vomited the moment he saw what's left of her. Hamish stepped closer and put a hand on his shoulder. "Everything okay?"

Randall's eyes went silver. His teeth were out and he was seconds from turning into Greybeard.

"Calm down, Randall. It's okay. We can deal with it." He said, concerned.

Jack was already cleaning the mess. It was dark and empty street. If they had enough luck, no one would see them. They had to be fast. 

_God, I miss her so much_ , thought Hamish. "Randall, help Jack."

He run after the man. He couldn't let Randall do this. This kid would let Greybeard take control and then blamed himself the day after. The void Lilith left after she disappeared in demon's realm was so much more vivid in moments like this.

The man had to have some unnatural strength. Hamish passed through another two victims, when he decided to call for help. Few seconds later Tundra grasped the boy and was on her way to the woods.

###  **2.**

_Randall kneeled on the tiles, completely naked, shaking from cold and from crying. Tears trailed down his cheeks. In front of him laid Lilith, covered in blood and silent._

_Killed._

_By him._

_Hemmings didn't give him time to mourn his friend. The sound that accompanied the opening of the doors startled him again. Randall stood up, frightened, and looked at the entrance, afraid of who he will have to face this time._

_It was Hamish. Their leader approached him seeming normally at first. "Why is Lilith dead?" He asked like it was all Randall's fault. "Why did you kill her?"_

_Randall's body started to shake. He mumbled an apology and started to cry even more, hating himself for such reaction, hating himself, for not regreting_ more _._

_"You shouldn't have" Hamish continued. "Lilith didn't deserve to be killed. Did you kill Jack too?" Randall shook his head in a 'no'. "Now I must punish you, Randall. I must kill you, so you will never kill anyone else. So you won't kill me or Jack too."_

_Hamish hissed. His eyes turned red and a foam started to show up in his mouth. The teeth were short but sharp. It wasn’t a wherewolf transformation._

_Randall took few steps back and tripped on some student's dead body. Hamish attacked him, immediately overpowering him. He tried to defend himself without hurting his best friend but Hamish was slightly bigger and a way more powerful than Randall was. He thought about calling Greybeard._

I must kill you, so you won't kill me or Jack too.

_Those words ringed in his mind like a curse. Guilt squeezed his throat and he gasped, failing at catching a deep breath. Fury in Hamish’s eyes was something he wanted to never see again. Those bodies were something he wanted to never see again._

_There was only one way to end this. He was affraid to die but he was even more affraid to stay alive._

_He gave up, let Hamish to bite him, to tear apart his neck. But he didn’t feel relieved. Screaming from overwhelming pain, dying, he felt even more anxious._

He woke up with a series of shallow gasps, thudding in his chest and wet from sweat. Randall was not a timid boy but those nightmares haunted him since he was back from Hemmings’ lab. It was already several weeks and he still dreamed of that room, living it through every night. Sometimes he jumped in his seat during classes, convinced that he heard the sound of the door opening.

He was devastated, he was tired, he was scared.

Randall didn’t get much sleep during nights so he started to take naps in the living room, falling asleep during the conversations. Those short periods of rest kept him sane. Somehow he discovered that during those naps, if one of the pack was close by, they stopped coming at him in dreams. It was probably a werewolf thing but it worked so he took advantage of it and got at least a bit of a rest.

Randall knew the pack was suspicious about him. They noticed his recovery naps on the couch but they said nothing. Well, they've tried but he dodged each of them once or twice and they left him alone. Sometimes he wished one of them was more persistent. He wished one of them pushed him, forced him to tell the truth and took care of him. (Normally he wouldn't need being taken care of but he kinda was going through hell right now.)

Then Hamish did exactly what he wished for and Randall welcomed him with a huge weigh off of his shoulders. Hamish, of all the people, was the person he trusted most. Hamish was the person he expected _something_ , _anything_ from. 

But when Hamish was hugging him Randall started to feel something he should never feel. And now he was even more startled to be around Hamish than to face his nightmares.

Randall struggled for about two weeks before he gave up and searched for new solutions. Unfurtunately, to no avail. He tried sleeping with others, with girls, but he was not into sex really and sleeping… Well, the nightmares never stopped. Randall kept waking up in the middle of the night and none of those he slept with was forgiving enough to continue the relationship.

He tried sleeping with boys too, two, before he decided it’s not for him. It became obvious then, it had to be someone from the pack. And so he was back with napping on the sofa, whenever someone, _not Hamish_ , was sitting near.

* * *

And then Lilith was gone and Randall lost all hope.

###  **3.**

"Bottoms up, boys" said Jack, causing Randall to choke on his drink.

"Yeah, _boys_." Randall put down his half full glass and walked out of the room, out of the house.

Jack looked as worried as Hamish felt. Since Lilith was gone, Randall's nightmares worsened. He lost weight, had swollen, bloodshot eyes with dark circles underneath, wore shaggy clothes and smiled no more. His scores dropped as well as his help with hunting. Vera almost kicked him out from the Order. He was a shadow of a man.

Hamish tried to talk to him. He even tried to drag him to his bed so he could rest without nightmares. He tried to sit beside him on the couch. Randall didn't want any comfort from him.

At first, they thought giving him some time alone would do the trick. But it was getting worse than ever and Hamish’s heart was breaking in half, when he was looking at him. He himself was eating less, drinking more and waking up during nights. Lilith was gone, Vera pushed him, Jack prefered Alyssa over his pack and Randall… He couldn’t stop to worry about Randall. Jack gave up on him but Hamish was conscious of the fact they did not know eachother for long. He, on the other hand, had to do _something, anything_.

Hamish let his instincts lead him. He left the house and entered woods. He met Randall half way to the campus, standing still and watching stairs through the branches.

"Can you explain at least why?" Hamish asked quietly. He had to hear Hamish’s whisper but did not answer. "It feels like we're losing you too." He paused. "We can't lose you. _I can't._ "

Only when he said it aloud Hamish realised what his words meant to him.

 _I can't lose you too_. He lost Lilith, he lost many Knights before her. He lost Cassie. All those losses were important, yes, but they were his past. Randall was here, standing in front of him, in his arms reach. Randall was a promise of soft and comfort and relax and good sleep and oh, dear god he wanted to just touch him.

"Please" he whispered, while wrapping his hands around Randall’s waist, causing him a little shudder. He burried his face in the crook of his neck and held him firmly, determined not to give up this time. A cry of desperation was setting his whole body on fire. 

_Please_.

Randall managed to untangle himself from his grasp. He made few steps ahead, turned around and transformed, his way, in a blink of an eye.

Hamish stood in front of Greybeard, his face upturned to his, waiting. Tundra trembled under his skin, ready for anything. He just waited.

Greybeard snarled, huffed and run away, howling into the night. Hamish was left alone in the forest, heart pounding in chest, hands shaking. He was losing him, Hamish knew that already and he wasn’t ready for this. He fell on his knees, feeling all hope vanishing. He was sinking into a black hole. 

He kneeled there for a long time, trying to prepare himself for the worst. It was hard because he couldn’t focus his thoughts on anything for longer than few seconds. But it was hard also, because despite the experience, despite what logic prompted him, he clinged to hope like a madman.

A rustle in the woods startled him. Greybeard was back. He stood between trees, watching him. Werewolf came closer, gasping after a long run. Hamish stood up. They were looking in eachother’s eyes for a moment. And then there stood Randall, in between his scattered clothes, naked.

Hamish took off his shirt and handed it to Randall, leaving sweater to himself. He was a little bit taller and Randall lost a lot of weight during last weeks so the shirt was hanging on him, but covered most of his naked body.

Hamish wanted to say something, preferably embrace him, but did nothing. They headed home. Randall went upstairs and Hamish was stopped by Jack in the hall.

“What’s going on?”

“I wish I knew…” Hamish sounded almost desperate.

He was surprised when he saw Randall, still in his shirt, standing in the middle of his room. He smiled weakly, causing Hamish to unconciously mirror his tired grin, and then Randall just snuggled into him, hiding face in Hamish’s chest.

“Oh, boy.” Hamish sighed, burrying his face in Randall’s hair, holding him back in a tight grip, affraid to let him go.

“I... “ Randall pulled away eventually. “I like you. _That way_.”

Hamish blinked, not immediately understanding the meaning of the sentence. Randall seemed resigned, pretending not to care for his answer. Slowly loosing what's left of his hope, reminding Hamish of his own exact feelings earlier in the forest.

He never really thought of Randall _this way_ but right here and now it seemed like the only thing he could do.

He leaned and kissed him.

Randall clinged to him, desperate for closeness, for him. Hamish, still a little desoriented, wrapped his hands around his waist, reassuring him he wasn’t letting him anywhere further than he was now. The kiss felt nice, it felt right. It was getting hotter.

Hamish became aware of the fact that Randall wore just his shirt. He expected at least that to startle him but it did the opposite. His whole body went on fire, craving for more, more kissing, more touching, more everything and it didn’t help that Randall choose that exact moment to moan into the kiss. His hips moved on its own, clashing their groins togheter, breaking the spell they were under.

“Bed. Now.” Hamish hummed in a demanding tone.

He couldn’t stop now. His whole body yearned for this, for him. Randall’s quiet moans and sighs were driving him crazy. He caressed him, trailing paths on Randall’s body, making him bend under the touch of his fingers, brushing his hair, pinning him to the matress or pulling him closer, slowly unbuttoning the shirt, and kissing. Never stopped kissing.

* * *

Randall had exhausting past few weeks so he fell asleep in a minute, wrapping himself around him like a koala. Hamish was still processing what just happened.

“I never thought I could... “ he whispered, his voice mumbled by Randall’s hair. “And with you, of all people.”

He closed his eyes, trying to focus on what exactly he was feeling in that moment. He grasped his own emotions, turned around, tried to squeeze and twist it, to _taste_ it.

He kissed him in the top of the head.

“I love you, Randall.”

###  **4.**

Randall laughed out loud, holding his belly. Jack was on the ground, devastated, with Vera Stone standing above him, grimace making her face even more dignified.

“Maybe that will teach you a lesson.”

“I genuinely doubt that” Randall said, smashing Hamish’s stomach with the top of his hand.

Hamish smiled, wrapping a hand behind Randall’s back, receiving almost unnoticable move of his body, towards his own. His smile just got wider.

They were bruised in many ways. Each one of them lost at least one close person in their lives but they healed. They welcomed a new Knight. And they tried to be happy.

Hamish didn’t forget Lilith nor Cassie. But thanks to Randall he was able to move on. A great weight was lifted off of his shoulders after that night they had sex for the first time. They were healing eachother from both new and old wounds. Randall’s optimism was back shortly after the nightmares disappeared. And he was like a lantern in a moonless night, radiating with happiness.

“Discipline him, Mr. Duke” Vera snapped, leaving. "Catching that idiot guarantees no traffic ticket."

“He’ll be all blood and sweat when I’ll finish with him, Grand Magus, that I can promise.”

They all giggled for some time.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration: Lazy Moment by KnightofStChristopher (READ IT!). Written as an excuse to break my writer's block. This title may sound familiar, it's a paraphrase of BTS's song Blood, Sweat & Tears.


End file.
